The Hunchback of the Morgue

     THE HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE (1973): Starring- Paul Naschy, Rosanna Yanni, Alberto Dalbes, Victor Alcazar, Sofia Casares, and Maria Elena Arpon.

                                 Directed by- Javier Aguirre

     Well, hello once again, my little minions! I've got a strange movie to introduce you to today. But before I get to that, I have to explain a few things.

     It's impossible to talk about this movie without first explaining who and what Paul Naschy is. Some of you might know who he is already. If so, good for you. Others might not, so I decided to tell you who he is, because, he's kind of a big deal in the horror world.

    Born under the name of Jacinto Molina, Naschy changed his name and began acting in the late 1960's. He landed his first starring role in 1968 in the film LA MARCA DEL HOMBRE LOBO, released in the U.S. as FRANKENSTEIN'S BLOODY TERROR, which is strange, considering that it was a werewolf movie.

     The film was a huge success, establishing Naschy' reputation as Spain's greatest horror star. It was also the first time he would play Count Waldemar Daninsky, the tortured werewolf. Naschy would play the character in twelve more movies, throughout the late 1960's into the early 2000's, perhaps the longest running horror series of all time. Poor old Daninsky fought mad scientists, destroyed vampires, encountered mummies, Yetis(!), became Mr. Hyde(!), vanquished evil Samurai(!), and even went to space!

     Naschy truly was one of the hardest working men in the horror field. He wrote most of the movies he starred in, and made more than 90 movies, spanning four decades.

     Now, it's true that Naschy's movies were cheap, silly, and cheesy, but they're fun, entertaining cheese, and you can tell that the man behind them loved what he was doing, and truly loved to entertain.

     Today, however, I'm not reviewing one of the Daninsky movies. Instead, I'm going to review one of Nashcy's lesser-known films, THE HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE. It's also one of his weirdest movies, and that is really saying something.

     Naschy stars as Gotho, a mentally ill, hunchbacked morgue attendant, who works in the hospital in a small Swiss village. Gotho's life is essentially a living hell. He is insulted by his coworkers, seen as a monster by all of the villagers, and beaten by the children of the village.

     To make matters worse, Ilse (Arpon), the girl Gotho secretly loves, is dying of tuberculosis. Gotho visits her every day, and remains confident that Ilse will survive, but the girl knows better.

     Eventually, Ilse does die, and Gotho snaps. He kills two hospital attendants, steals Ilse's corpse, and hides it in a dank, underground cavern. When rats chew up part of Ilse's face, Gotho moves her to another room.

     Knowing that the police are looking for him, Gotho goes to Dr. Orla (Dalbes), the chief of medicine at the hospital, for help. Dr. Orla decides to use the naive hunchback to his own advantage.

     You see, Dr. Orla has a problem: The hospital has cut off funding for his experiments. And just what is the purpose of these experiments, you ask? Why, to create life, of course! So, Dr. Orla promises to bring Ilse back to life if Gotho will help him. The poor hunchback believes him, and before you know it, Dr. Orla and his assistant, Dr. Tauchner (Alcazar), have moved their laboratory, including an acid pit, into the cave. 

     Unfortunately, three incompetent movers take it upon themselves to dispose of Ilse's rotting corpse, and toss it into the acid. When Gotho discovers what they've done, he murders all three of them. Gotho is completely disheartened by the loss of Ilse, but Dr. Orla promises to create a new Ilse as long as Gotho continues helping him.

     The result of Dr. Orla's and Dr. Tauchner's experiment is apparently an enormous living cell, which devours human flesh. This means that Gotho has to kidnap people to feed to the creature. Gotho begins to prey on the inmates of a nearby women's reformatory, run by Eva (Casares), who happens to be Dr. Tauchner's girlfriend. While trying to kidnap girls, Gotho meets Elke (Yanni), who is kind to him. The two of them fall in love and begin a relationship. And yes, there is a very short sex scene (shudder....).

     Meanwhile, Dr. Tauchner realizes that what they are doing is wrong, and decides to inform the police. Dr. Orla won't allow this, however, and imprisons Tauchner and Eva within the cave. 

     One night, Elke follows Gotho into the cavern. Gotho catches her, and Dr. Orla tells him to feed her to the monster. Gotho refuses, and a fight ensues between him and the doctor. Gotho knocks out Dr. Orla, and frees Eva and Tauchner. The two of them leave with Elke, while Gotho stays behind to finish off Dr. Orla.

      The fight continues, and, after being shot by Dr. Orla, Gotho frees the cell-monster from the closet they keep it in. The monster melts off half of Dr. Orla's face, killing him. It then attacks Gotho, and the two of them go tumbling into the acid pit.

     So, like I said, this is quite a weird movie. I suppose you could tell that just from reading the above plot synopsis. All I can really say is, well, it's original. A bit loopy, perhaps, but original.

     As for the acting, well, the version I saw was dubbed into English, so it's a little hard to judge the performances, but they weren't terrible. 

    Naschy is what really drives the film, however. This can be said of most of his films. The man was a very talented actor, and he brings great sympathy and tragedy to the role of Gotho, which was no small feat.

     So that's HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE. Is it silly? Yes. Is it trashy? Yes. Is it terrible? Not at all. It's certainly not for every taste, though....

     My rating: * * 1/2  out of  * * * *

     Unfortunately, I have to end this review on a very sad note. Paul Naschy died on November 30, 2009, at the age of 74. I say this with a great deal of sadness and embarrassment. Sadness because the world has lost a great talent, and one of it's last great horror personalities. Embarrassment, because I didn't even know about it until just a few weeks ago.

     Still, this is no time to talk about my own shortcomings as a horror fan, but instead a time to mourn a great loss, and to look back on the magnificent career of a truly great man.

     So, to you, Mr. Naschy, I say rest in peace. You will be remembered, and you truly deserve that. You may be gone, sir, but you have left behind you a great legacy, and thousands of fans, who I'm sure will miss you. Goodbye.

                                              R.I.P.

                                          1934-2009

The Wolf Man

     THE WOLF MAN (1941): Starring- Lon Chaney, Jr., Claude Rains, Evelyn Ankers, Ralph Bellamy, Maria Ouspenskaya, Patrick Knowles, and Bela Lugosi.

                                                    Directed by- George Waggner

     Well, here we are, once again. Let me tell you something, folks. I'm not a fan of remakes at all. That's probably the understatement of the year. I fucking HATE remakes. It doesn't even matter what remake it is.

     It can be a really good remake.....

     ..... Or a really bad remake.

     I'm sorry to all you remake fans out there, but I just don't approve of remakes. I think we need some more originality in Hollywood these days. And I don't think that every movie ever made needs a remake, but that's what studio executives seem to think.

     Seriously, since 1999, everything from WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY to GODZILLA to PROM NIGHT has been given a remake. I suppose I get the attraction to most of these remakes, but fucking PROM NIGHT?! There isn't much of an audience for a bloodless, PG-13 rated remake of a third-rate 8O's slasher movie. 

     Hey, while they're at it, why don't they give us a remake of BLOOD CULT? I bet everybody wants to be reminded of that cinematic suppository.

     But what really pisses me off is when a remake overshadows the original, and people forget that the movie was even a remake in the first place. That is a great insult to everyone that worked on the original!

     So, you can imagine how far and fast my heart sank when I saw this travesty hanging in my local movie theater:

     No. You know what, no! I won't stand for this! They can remake anything else they want, but not this. They can remake CASABLANCA, but not this. I grew up with the original THE WOLF MAN, and I won't let those remaking Hollywood hacks mess around with one of my most cherished childhood memories!

     Well, it seems like I don't have much say in the matter, as the movie will be coming out. So, instead of protesting theaters, I decided to remind everyone that the original still exists with my review of it.

     The film starts out when Lawrence Talbot (Chaney) returns to his ancient family mansion in England to live with his father, Sir John (Raines). Lawrence spends some time getting reacquainted with his home town, and meets Gwen Conliffe (Ankers), whom he instantly falls for. He also purchases a silver-tipped cane from her and is told the legend of the werewolf: "Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the Autumn moon is bright." 

     After several attempts, Larry manages to land a date with Gwen, who brings along her friend, Jenny. The three of them go to a visiting gypsy carnival, where Jenny decides to get her palm read by creepy fortune-teller, Bela (Lugosi). And, yes, that really is the character's name. They got Bela Lugosi to play a character named Bela.

     Anyway, Bela looks into Jenny's palm and sees the image of the pentagram. Bela freaks out and warns Jenny to run for her life. While looking for Larry and Gwen, Jenny is attacked and killed by a large wolf.

     Larry hears her screams and attacks the beast. He is bitten on the chest, but manages to beat the wolf to death with his cane. He is brought home by Gwen and Bela's mother, Maleva(Ouspenskaya). Just as soon as they arrive, Maleva has disappeared.

     The police do not find the carcass of a wolf at the scene, but instead find the body of Bela. And, the next morning, the wound on Larry's chest has disappeared, leaving only a scar in the shape of the pentagram.

     This is the point where Larry's life will become nothing short of a living hell. Everyone in the town now sees him as a murderer, and he can go nowhere without someone looking at him suspiciously. 

     Larry visits the carnival again and meets Maleva. He is told by the old woman that Bela was a werewolf, and that he is now a werewolf, having been bitten. Larry rushes home as the full moon rises, and he transforms into a beast that will haunt the citizens of this small village....

     Like I said before, I grew up loving this movie, and I still love it with all my heart. But, seeing it more recently, I picked up on so many things that went straight over my head when I was a kid. I never noticed how great the musical score was, or how haunting the photography looked, or how tragic the character of Lawrence Talbot is.

     Really, he might be my favorite of the universal monsters, beating out Frankenstein, Dracula, Kharis the Mummy, and the Invisible Man, among others. This character really isn't a monster at all, just a sad man who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I always end up feeling so sorry for him every time I watch this movie.

     Also, the movie is much more psychological than you would expect. It's never directly stated that Larry is a werewolf until about halfway through the movie.

      Also, all of the performances are fantastic. Larry Talbot is the greatest character that Lon Chaney, Jr., ever played. That's not really saying much, honestly, but it's still a great performance. And the relationship between Chaney and Claude Rains is amazing. I actually believe that they're father and son, which only goes to show what great actors both of them are. Evelyn Ankers is also good as the love interest. I honestly feel sorry for her character at times, as well. Finally, we have the great Maria Ouspenskaya as Maleva, the single greatest old gypsy woman in any movie ever.

     And the movie is shot beautifully. The fog shrouded forests, the bright, sunny, village streets, they all look so wonderful. This isn't just a classic horror movie, this is a classic movie.

     So, next month, when the inevitable remake comes out, go see it if you want to. It actually doesn't look all that bad. But I won't be seeing it. Ever. 

     Just promise me that you won't forget the original.

     My Rating: * * * *  out of  * * * *

     A Message from the Unknown Movie Fan:

     Hello, folks out there on the net. I'd like to tell you about a very close friend of mine: Psychotic Oreo. She is a very talented writer/producer who I know personally. If you'd like to read some of her work, you can check out  Baaka Productions over at www.baakapro.webs.com. I hope you check it out, but don't think that this means you're off the hook with me. I still expect you to read every review that I put up!

The Walking Dead

     THE WALKING DEAD (1936): Starring- Boris Karloff, Ricardo Cortez, Edmund Gwenn, Marguerite Churchill, Warren Hull, and Barton MacLane.

                                            Directed by- Micheal Curtiz

     Well, I'm still a little shaken from my viewing of BLOOD CULT, but this movie helped me forget it (Thank Christ).

     The movie I'm talking about today is THE WALKING DEAD. You might not recognize that title, and I'm not entirely sure why. This movie is one of the most unjustly underrated horror films of all time. It deserves to be just as famous as any of the films Boris Karloff made at Universal. 

     The film begins with a group of criminals, led by Nolan (Cortez), who have a bit of a problem. A local judge is looking for any excuse to send these thugs to jail. So, they murder the judge and frame John Ellman (Karloff) for the crime. 

     Ellman is sentenced to death for the crime. On the night of his execution, it is discovered that Ellman is innocent. However, this news reaches the jail too late, and he is executed anyway.

     Dr. Beaumont (Gwenn) has a solution for Ellman's problem. He brings him back from the dead. However, the Doctor soon becomes obsessed with finding out what the afterlife is like from Ellman. Meanwhile, Ellman regains his memories and sets out for revenge against the men who framed him.

     I'm honestly amazed that more people haven't heard of this movie. It's not only a classic horror movie, but it's a classic movie. Period.

     The direction is perfect, and the film is beautifully shot. There are scenes in this movie which truly are visual masterpieces. Also, the performances of the cast are all excellent, especially Gwenn, who later became more famous as Santa Claus in MIRACLE ON 34th STREET.

     But none of that is what makes the film stand out. The greatest part of this film is Karloff's performance as the doomed Ellman. If there was ever a need for further proof that Karloff was a great actor, it's this movie. It's one of his best performances, managing to evoke sympathy and even love for this character who could otherwise have been a standard monster. I particularly like the scene in which Ellman is being led to the electric chair. With a look of profound sadness in his face, Karloff looks towards the heavens and says only, "He'll believe me." I'm not ashamed to admit that I got a little teary-eyed.

     This movie carries my highest recommendation. They truly don't make them like this anymore. This is one to check out.

     My rating:  * * * *  out of  * * * *