Plan 9 from Outer Space

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959): Starring- Gregory Walcott, Mona McKinnon, Duke Moore, Tom Keene, Tor Johnson, Paul Marco, Dudley Manlove (no, I'm not making that name up), Johanna Lee, John Breckinridge, Lyle Talbot, Conrad Brooks, Vampira (I'm not making that name up, either), Criswell, Tom Mason, and Bela Lugosi.

Directed by- Ed Wood.

Ah, Ed Wood, you magnificent, brilliant, insane bastard. Who else could have given us the movies you gave us?


For those of you who don't know him, Ed Wood is almost universally hailed and beloved as the worst director of all time. He brought us some of the worst, cheesiest, most insane and hilariously awful films of their time. And many movie fans, myself included, happen to love his movies for this very reason. In fact, I'm not ashamed to admit, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE happens to be a Halloween tradition for me.


So, without further ado, let's get on with the review!





The movie begins with a brief prologue, entitled "Criswell Predicts", in which popular "psychic" Criswell gives us a prediction for the future. FYI, this is Criswell:

Criswell has some wonderful advice to give us, such as: "My friends, you are interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives!" or "Future events, such as these, will affect you in the future!" Anyway, he attempts to make the claim that this movie was based on a true story (it wasn't) and we get on with the plot.

The film begins with the funeral of a young woman (played by former late-night TV hostess, Vampira). At the exact same moment, flying saucers are spotted in the sky, hovering over the graveyard. The young woman then rises from the grave and kills two gravediggers by raising her arms.

The next morning, the woman's husband (played by stock footage of Bela Lugosi) is distracted by his grief over her death, and is killed offscreen in a car accident. The man is also resurrected (now played by an obvious double).

Soon after, the gravediggers' bodies are discovered, and the police are called in, led by Inspector Clay (Tor Johnson, whose dialog is completely incomprehensible.) The old man and his wife make short work of Clay, and he is later resurrected as well.

The zombies (all three of them) and the flying saucers continue to terrorize the small town, and Earth is left with pilot Jeff Trent (Walcott) as it's only hero. We're doomed.

It so happens that a race of aliens is responsible for bringning back the dead as zombies in the hopes that this will stop humanity from creating a grand weapon that would destroy all life on Earth. So, their solution to the destruction of humanity is to destroy humanity? Makes sense, I guess...

I could write an essay on all the mistakes in this movie. There are numerous gravestones that are knocked over accidentally by the actors, the special effects are bad (and I don't mean 1950's bad, I mean hilariously bad), the dialog is stilted and silly, and most of the acting is downright awful.

Take, for instance, the flying saucers. I could describe them, but instead I've included a picture of them:

I think that photo speaks for itself.

How about the zombies? These are supposed to be terrifying, frightening creatures that will make humanity change its ways. And what do they look like, you may ask? Well, this:

Or, they look like this:

Not too intimidating, are they?

But, by far my favorite part of this of this movie has got to be the Lugosi character. You see, Ed Wood was a good friend of Lugosi towards the end of his life, and Lugosi starred in two of Wood's previous films. Unfortunately, the actor died shortly before filming of PLAN 9 began. However, Wood had leftover footage of Lugosi, and decided to splice it into the movie and market it as being Lugosi's last film. But Lugosi's character is rather central to the plot. So, half the time, we see stock footage of Lugosi, and half the time we see a double who looks nothing like Lugosi. Allow me to illustrate.

This is what the real Lugosi looked like at the time:

And this is what the double looks like:

Having trouble seeing the double's face? Well, too bad, because he does that "cape over the face" move every time he's on screen.

You know, I really should give this a negative review. I really should. There's absolutely nothing good about it, but it's just so damned entertaining. I can't bring myself to hate it. This movie is the very definition of the phrase "So bad it's good." It's really a lot of fun.

Does that mean that I'm recommending PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE? Well, let's put it this way: As a movie, it's terrible. But as a bad movie, it's a grade-A masterpiece! Besides, there are many worse ways to spend 70 minutes.

My rating: Rating this film is a somewhat difficult task, so I've decided to give it two ratings.

Regular movie scale: * out of * * * *

Trash movie scale: * * * * out of * * * *

The Raven

     THE RAVEN (1935): Starring- Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Irene Ware, Lester Matthews, Samuel S. Hinds, Spencer Charters, Inez Courtney, Ian Wolfe, and Maidel Turner.

     Directed by- Lew Landers

     I must apologize once again for my terrible behavior as a blogger. I promise to post reviews more frequently in the future. 

     With that said, let's talk about THE RAVEN. The first thing I should mention is that this movie is not to be confused with THE RAVEN (1963), a comedy about wizards featuring Vincent Price.

This does not happen in this movie.

     The movie I'm discussing today features Bela Lugosi as Dr. Vollin, a mad surgeon who is also obsessed with the works of Edgar Allen Poe. I mean really obsessed. I mean really obsessed. This man actually has a pendulum and a shrinking room in his home. (For the record, the film has absolutely nothing to do with Poe's poem, The Raven, except for the poem being quoted by Vollin and discussed by the characters at one point.)

     Anyway, as Vollin is a highly skilled surgeon, he ends up saving the life of Jean Thatcher, a young dancer. Vollin quickly falls in love with Jean, but learns he can't have her, especially since her father (Hinds) is against this. Vollin swears vengeance against Jean, her father, and her fiance, Jerry (Matthews).

     Around the same time Vollin encounters a wanted criminal name Edmond Bateman (Karloff). Bateman, wanting to evade the police, begs the doctor to change his face so he can begin his life anew. Instead, Vollin hideously disfigures the right side of Bateman's face, using this factor to blackmail Bateman into helping him achieve his nefarious scheme.

     Vollin's plan comes together when he invites Jean, her father, Jerry, and a few other wealthy socialites to stay in his home for a night. Having Bateman pose as his butler, he soon kidnaps Jean's father, subjecting him to numerous Poe-esque tortures. The doctor also has a few surprises in store for his other guests, but Bateman has a few surprises in store for Dr. Vollin.

     This movie has quite a lot going for it. It's yet another great teaming of Karloff and Lugosi, it has great atmosphere, wonderful set design, and a relatively good disfigurement make-up, which was designed for Karloff by Jack Pierce. It's a very good make-up design, although it's not quite as memorable as Pierce's other works, such as Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, or The Mummy.

     Unlike THE BLACK CAT (1934) and some of his other films with Karloff, this movie belongs to Lugosi. Though Karloff received top billing (as he always did), this is Lugosi's  movie all the way. He revels in the role of Doctor Vollin. He's just deliciously over the top, laughing maniacally, shouting and raising his arms to the sky. I think my favorite scene is that in which he says, of his torture device: "What a delicious torture, Bateman! Greater than Poe! Poe only conceived it! I have done it, Bateman! Poe, you are avenged!" This speech is, of course, followed by a bout of maniacal laughter. Simply wonderful, we just don't have horror villains like that, anymore...

     Karloff is also good as Bateman. He has a particularly sad monologue about his past life, and why he committed his crimes. Once again, Karloff manages to bring sympathy to character who could have simply been a cheap throw-away. Unfortunately, that stops after he is disfigured. After that, Bateman rarely talks, mostly creeping around Dr. Vollin's house. In fact, one of Boris Karloff's growls from FRANKENSTEIN (1931) is looped into the movie in one scene. The character actually becomes quite similar to the role he played in THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932). Still, I do think the movie would lack something if someone else played Bateman.

     The rest of the cast leave less of an impression, but they perform their parts well. Though, I will say that Ian Wolfe has one very funny line.  When Vollin threatens the guests with death, he says, simply: "See here, Vollin, things like this can't be done!"

     Also wonderful is the film's set design. Vollin's home at once seems both inviting and terrifying. The film manages to perfectly capture some of the tortures described in The Pit and the Pendulum, specifically, the pendulum and the shrinking room. And, I must note: while they seem a bit tame today, the torture scenes in this film must have shocked audiences back in 1935. (Perhaps an attempt to top the skinning scene from THE BLACK CAT?)

     While, at first glance, this movie seems like an attempt to cash in on the success of THE BLACK CAT, it manages to stand on its own as very good movie. It may not be as good as some of Universal's other classics, but it's very well made, highly entertaining, and definitely worth a watch.

     My rating- *  *  *  out of  *  *  *  *

The Wolf Man

     THE WOLF MAN (1941): Starring- Lon Chaney, Jr., Claude Rains, Evelyn Ankers, Ralph Bellamy, Maria Ouspenskaya, Patrick Knowles, and Bela Lugosi.

                                                    Directed by- George Waggner

     Well, here we are, once again. Let me tell you something, folks. I'm not a fan of remakes at all. That's probably the understatement of the year. I fucking HATE remakes. It doesn't even matter what remake it is.

     It can be a really good remake.....

     ..... Or a really bad remake.

     I'm sorry to all you remake fans out there, but I just don't approve of remakes. I think we need some more originality in Hollywood these days. And I don't think that every movie ever made needs a remake, but that's what studio executives seem to think.

     Seriously, since 1999, everything from WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY to GODZILLA to PROM NIGHT has been given a remake. I suppose I get the attraction to most of these remakes, but fucking PROM NIGHT?! There isn't much of an audience for a bloodless, PG-13 rated remake of a third-rate 8O's slasher movie. 

     Hey, while they're at it, why don't they give us a remake of BLOOD CULT? I bet everybody wants to be reminded of that cinematic suppository.

     But what really pisses me off is when a remake overshadows the original, and people forget that the movie was even a remake in the first place. That is a great insult to everyone that worked on the original!

     So, you can imagine how far and fast my heart sank when I saw this travesty hanging in my local movie theater:

     No. You know what, no! I won't stand for this! They can remake anything else they want, but not this. They can remake CASABLANCA, but not this. I grew up with the original THE WOLF MAN, and I won't let those remaking Hollywood hacks mess around with one of my most cherished childhood memories!

     Well, it seems like I don't have much say in the matter, as the movie will be coming out. So, instead of protesting theaters, I decided to remind everyone that the original still exists with my review of it.

     The film starts out when Lawrence Talbot (Chaney) returns to his ancient family mansion in England to live with his father, Sir John (Raines). Lawrence spends some time getting reacquainted with his home town, and meets Gwen Conliffe (Ankers), whom he instantly falls for. He also purchases a silver-tipped cane from her and is told the legend of the werewolf: "Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the Autumn moon is bright." 

     After several attempts, Larry manages to land a date with Gwen, who brings along her friend, Jenny. The three of them go to a visiting gypsy carnival, where Jenny decides to get her palm read by creepy fortune-teller, Bela (Lugosi). And, yes, that really is the character's name. They got Bela Lugosi to play a character named Bela.

     Anyway, Bela looks into Jenny's palm and sees the image of the pentagram. Bela freaks out and warns Jenny to run for her life. While looking for Larry and Gwen, Jenny is attacked and killed by a large wolf.

     Larry hears her screams and attacks the beast. He is bitten on the chest, but manages to beat the wolf to death with his cane. He is brought home by Gwen and Bela's mother, Maleva(Ouspenskaya). Just as soon as they arrive, Maleva has disappeared.

     The police do not find the carcass of a wolf at the scene, but instead find the body of Bela. And, the next morning, the wound on Larry's chest has disappeared, leaving only a scar in the shape of the pentagram.

     This is the point where Larry's life will become nothing short of a living hell. Everyone in the town now sees him as a murderer, and he can go nowhere without someone looking at him suspiciously. 

     Larry visits the carnival again and meets Maleva. He is told by the old woman that Bela was a werewolf, and that he is now a werewolf, having been bitten. Larry rushes home as the full moon rises, and he transforms into a beast that will haunt the citizens of this small village....

     Like I said before, I grew up loving this movie, and I still love it with all my heart. But, seeing it more recently, I picked up on so many things that went straight over my head when I was a kid. I never noticed how great the musical score was, or how haunting the photography looked, or how tragic the character of Lawrence Talbot is.

     Really, he might be my favorite of the universal monsters, beating out Frankenstein, Dracula, Kharis the Mummy, and the Invisible Man, among others. This character really isn't a monster at all, just a sad man who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I always end up feeling so sorry for him every time I watch this movie.

     Also, the movie is much more psychological than you would expect. It's never directly stated that Larry is a werewolf until about halfway through the movie.

      Also, all of the performances are fantastic. Larry Talbot is the greatest character that Lon Chaney, Jr., ever played. That's not really saying much, honestly, but it's still a great performance. And the relationship between Chaney and Claude Rains is amazing. I actually believe that they're father and son, which only goes to show what great actors both of them are. Evelyn Ankers is also good as the love interest. I honestly feel sorry for her character at times, as well. Finally, we have the great Maria Ouspenskaya as Maleva, the single greatest old gypsy woman in any movie ever.

     And the movie is shot beautifully. The fog shrouded forests, the bright, sunny, village streets, they all look so wonderful. This isn't just a classic horror movie, this is a classic movie.

     So, next month, when the inevitable remake comes out, go see it if you want to. It actually doesn't look all that bad. But I won't be seeing it. Ever. 

     Just promise me that you won't forget the original.

     My Rating: * * * *  out of  * * * *

The Black Cat

THE BLACK CAT (1934): Starring- Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi,

David Manners, Julie Bishop

Directed by- Edgar G. Ulmer

Since I'm still trying to wash out the bad taste left in the back of my throat by FEAR NO EVIL, I decided to get back to the classics, if only for a brief 66 minutes. So, I popped in a copy of THE BLACK CAT. Well, for me, that's the perfect cure for the bad-movie-blues.

While not as well known as the other Universal classics (FRANKENSTEIN, DRACULA, THE WOLF MAN, etc.), this movie is just as great, and I'd be as quick to watch it again as I would to watch some of those others.

But what a weird movie it is. Really, I'm amazed they got away with this one in 1934....

The plot concerns a young married couple, Peter (Manners) and Joan (Bishop), on their honeymoon in Hungary. As they arrive, they end up sharing a cab with with Dr. Vitus Verdegast (Lugosi) and his servant.

While driving through a violent storm (Don't you just love how there's always a storm in these movies?), they end up crashing, which kills the driver. As luck would have it, Verdegast realizes that they are very near the home of his old "friend" Hjalmar Poelzig (Karloff). They arrive at the house and are immediately allowed to stay for the night.

But all is not as it seems. The truth is that Poelzig is a high Satanic priest, and he betrayed Verdegast during WWI, resulting in the deaths of thousands, and Verdegast's long imprisonment. Because of this, Verdegast has harbored a deep hatred for Poelzig, and has come seeking revenge. What he soon learns is that while he was imprisoned, Poelzig married his wife and adopted his daughter. Verdegast also learns that his wife has since died, and Poelzig has encased her body in a glass case, "Preserving her beauty...", and has married Verdegast's daughter.

But things don't end there. Poelzig has plans for Verdegast, and for Peter and Joan.

As I said, this movie was way ahead of its time both in plot, and in style.

The set design, camera work, photography and locations are all perfect and atmospheric.

And the plot... Well, wow. It really is bizarre and dark for the 1930's, with its Satanic rituals, hints of necrophilia, pedophilia, and the particularly nasty fate that befalls Poelzig in the film's final moments. It's also interesting that, by the end of the film, most of the cast (including an entire cult!) is dead. The only thing I could find to explain the title is that Verdegast has a pathological fear of black cats.

As for the acting, all of the performances are excellent, though I never really liked David Manners that much. Well, anyway, this was one of the first films to team Karloff and Lugosi, and they're absolutely phenomenal together. I often wonder if the story about the two actors hating each other in real life is true, because they play off of each other so well. If the rumor is true, I guess that just proves what great actors they both were.

I feel that I should mention that this movie also has some incredible dialogue ("Did you hear that, Vitus? Even the phone is dead....").

So, you should definitely see this one.

My Rating: * * * 1/2 out of * * * *