Tales from the Crypt: "And All Through the House" (Se. 01 Ep. 02)

AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE (1989): Starring- Mary Ellen Trainor, Larry Drake, and Marshall Bell

Directed by- Robert Zemeckis

Ah, now this is more like it. For many fans this is that best episode of the first season. I'm not sure if I'd go so far as to say that, but it's definitely the first one that feels like it torn straight from the pages of TALES FROM THE CRYPT.

The story begins on Christmas Eve, when a young woman (Trainor) murders her husband (Bell) with a fireplace poker to the head. Her plan is to dispose of the body in a nearby well. Her plans are complicated by her young daughter, who is staying up to see if Santa Clause comes. The mother eventually manages to send her daughter to bed and proceeds outside with the body. However, unbeknownst to her, an escaped mental patient dressed as Santa Clause (Drake) is lurking about, and he has an axe...

This is a very, very good episode. It's beautifully shot, and the tone of continuously mounting suspense is perfectly achieved. The two lead performances are great. Mary Ellen Trainor is exactly what you want in a TALES FROM THE CRYPT protagonist- you root for her, but you also realize that she really has it coming. Lary Drake is exceptionally creepy in an almost-silent role as the maniac. While it hasn't got much of a twist to it, the ending is one of the most lasting images this series has to offer. It's not my personal favorite out of the first season, but it's still one of the best.

My rating- * * * *  out of  * * * *

Tales from the Crypt: "The Man Who Was Death" (Se. 01 Ep. 01)

THE MAN WHO WAS DEATH (1989): Starring- William Sadler, J.W. Smith, Roy Brocksmith, David Wohl, Gerrit Graham, Dani Minnick, and Robert Winley

Directed by- Walter Hill

So, here it is. The very first episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT. ... Well, sorta. There's actually some dissension as to which episode is the official pilot, due to the fact that the first three episodes were broadcast on the same night. However, I'm going by the order on the DVD release, and this one is first there.


The episode centers on Niles Talbot (Sadler), a former prison electrician now working as executioner. Talbot has a certain zealousy for his job and sees it as his moral duty. Unfortunately, the death penalty is suddenly overturned is his state, leaving Niles out of a job and, as he sees it, leaving many criminals unpunished. So, he does the only sensible thing- he proceeds to follow murder trials and then electrocutes anyone that gets off not guilty.


This episode serves as a decent introduction to the series. The plot is fairly simple, and there's not much in the way of violence or gore, with the exception of several electrocutions. Plus, you can see the twist ending coming a mile away.

However, one thing in particular really does stand out- William Sadler's performance. He's really the only main character, and he is phenomenal in this episode. He really sucks you into this character's head, and you actually start to like him a little. It's one of the best performances of the entire series run.


 So, all in all, this is a pretty good episode, carried by some brilliant acting.


My rating-  * * * 1/2  out of  * * * * 

And now, for something a little different...

Hello, all. I've decided to change things up a little around here, and in doing so, I figured I'd add a new feature to the blog: TV reviews. (Real original, I know...)
Now, if I'm going to review a series, it has to be something that fits along the lines of this blog- Something, gruesome, something terrifying, something horrific...



... Oh. Yeah, that should do it.

To begin with, I should probably give a little background to those unfamiliar with the show. TALES FROM THE CRYPT is an anthology series which ran from 1989 to 1995 for 93 episodes. Each episode was adapted from a story published in the comics published in the early 1950's by E.C., such as TALES FROM THE CRYPT (obviously), THE VAULT OF HORROR, THE HAUNT OF FEAR, CRIME SUPSPENSTORIES, and SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES.
These stories were frequently morality tales, with a nasty protagonist being dealt some type of supernatural comeuppance for their misdeeds.
The series was hosted by The Crypt Keeper, a demonic, cackling corpse who would chime in on the episode, making jokes and puns.


The Crypt Keeper was voiced by the very talented John Kassir, who really brings personality to this creature. Sometimes, he's the best thing about the episode.

Anyway, given the show's anthology format, I don't think a single overview of it would do it justice. So, I'm going to go episode by episode. I'll still do the other reviews, but every now and then, I'll pop in with a TALES FROM THE CRYPT episode.

The first one should be along soon. Stay tuned.

Mad Love

MAD LOVE (1935): Starring- Peter Lorre, Frances Drake, Colin Clive, Sara Haden, Edward Brophy, Henry Kolker, Key Luke, May Beatty, Ian Wolfe, and Ted Healy

Directed by Karl Freund

Welcome to the crypt, once again. I think I've been a little too 80s-heavy in my last couple reviews, so today, I'm going all the way back to 1935 with MAD LOVE. It's one of the odder 30's films I've seen. (Which is really saying something, by the way...) Let's begin.

The story centers on Dr. Gogol (Lorre, who's character is never given a first name, oddly enough.) Gogol is a brilliant surgeon, capable of working wonders on patients other doctors have given up on. His sole hobby is the theater, specifically a horror and torture themed theater, and its leading lady, Yvonne Orlac. (Drake) In the opening scene, we find Gogol admiring a wax statue of Yvonne which is placed in the lobby of the theater. After the performance, Gogol makes his way to Yvonne's dressing room, where he proclaims his love for her. Unfortunately, she tells him that she is married to a composer and piano player, Stephen Orlac (Clive), and what's more, she finds Gogol repulsive. Gogol flees the theater, distraught and humiliated.

The next day, Gogol buys the statue and places it in his home. He begins to show signs of madness, talking to the statue as if it were the real thing. Meanwhile, Stephen is on a train to Paris. Also on the train is Rollo (Brophy), a carnival knife thrower on his way to be executed for the murder of his father. Before the train can arrive, it is violently derailed. In the accident, Stephen's hands are mangled horribly. Rollo is unharmed, however, and meets the guillotine as scheduled.

Yvonne, seeing no alternative, takes Stephen to Gogol's clinic and begs the doctor to repair her husband's hands. Gogol is unenthusiastic at first, but soon sees this as an opportunity to become a hero in Yvonne's eyes. He performs the surgery and saves Stephen's hands.

Stephen is pleased at first, but begins to worry as soon as his hands heal. His hands no longer seem like his own. They can no longer play the piano, and they now have the ability to throw knives. Meanwhile, Gogol sinks deeper and deeper into insanity...

This film is great. It's one of the best of it's era and unfairly neglected and underrated by fans and critics alike. To start with, the cast is fantastic, and they all excel in their roles. Peter Lorre gives the best performance of his career as the crazed Dr. Gogol, first evoking sympathy, and then terror and disgust. It's his performance that carries the movie, and it's really fun watching him do so. (Interestingly enough, Charlie Chaplin, upon viewing this movie, called Lorre "the greatest living actor.") Frances Drake and Colin Clive give him excellent support as his intended victims. Drake is at first, very cold and selfish, but soon breaks through and delivers a very vulnerable, if melodramatic, performance. Clive, at first only a supporting character, almost steals the second half of the film in his distraught turn as Orlac. You really feel bad for this guy as he suffers. Another interesting castmember is comedian Ted Healy, most famous for discovering, then mistreating, and then losing the Three Stooges. He plays a nosy reporter, intent on finding out what goes on in Gogol's clinic. He's alright in the role, but he's there mostly for comic relief.

Another asset to this film is it's photography. It was directed by Karl Freund, who shot classics such as METROPOLIS (1927), DRACULA (1931), and also directed THE MUMMY (1932). It really shows that he directed this. The photography, which was groundbreaking in it's day, still looks beatiful and has been speculated as an influence on Orson Welles' CITIZEN KANE (1941). This movie should be shown in filmmaking classes just based on this aspect alone.

Sadly, the movie was largely unsuccessful at the box office, and has been mostly forgotten by audiences. It ended Freund's career as a director, though his career as a cinematographer would continue until his death in 1969. It's also been ingored by critics, but I think that should change. I think MAD LOVE deserves to stand alongside the likes FRANKENSTEIN, DRACULA, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE MUMMY, and FREAKS as one of the great horror films of the 1930s. My advice to you is to track it down and see for yourself.

My rating- * * * * out of * * * *

In Memoriam

Bill Hinzman,

known as the "Cemetery Zombie" from

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)

1936-2012

R.I.P.

Fright Night

FRIGHT NIGHT (1985): Starring- Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, and Roddy McDowall.

Directed by- Tom Holland

And so, Hollywood's remake fever has struck yet another of my favorite movies...

... Goddamn you, Hollywood. Goddamn you!

However, I'm not here to trash a remake that I haven't even seen yet. (And yes, I do plan on seeing it at some point.) I merely decided that now was as good a time as any to review the original FRIGHT NIGHT. So, without further ado, let's dig in to FRIGHT NIGHT!

The film begins when young horror fan Charlie Brewster (Ragsdale) notices some strange activity in the house next door. He spots his new neighbor, Jerry Dandrige (Sarandon), moving a coffin into his cellar. Soon after this, people soon begin to disappear around town, and Charlie begins to believe that Jerry may be a vampire.

Unfortunately, Charlie can't convince anyone around around that Jerry is a vampire. Both his girlfriend Amy (Bearse) and Evil Ed (Geoffreys), his horror-obsessed classmate, believe that he's losing his mind.

After Jerry, who is indeed a vampire, threatens to kill him, Charlie goes to the one person he believes can help him: washed-up horror movie star, Peter Vincent (McDowall). However, Vincent also thinks Charlie is crazy and merely humours him by performing a "vampire test" on Jerry. During the test, Peter accidentally sees Jerry's lack of reflection in a mirror and is convinced that Charlie is telling the truth.

This realization comes too late, as Evil Ed is soon transformed into a vampire by Jerry, and Amy is kidnapped with the intent of turing her as well. It's up to Charlie and Peter to save Amy and destroy the vampires before more victims are taken.

I LOVE this movie! Like, THE WOLF MAN (1941), this one has held a special place in my heart ever since I was a young minion of terror. I can actually remember staying up late to watch this on AMC's Fear Friday (remember that?) when I was about nine or ten years old. Even at that young age, I knew I had found something special. But, enough of my totally-unbiased nostalgia. On to the movie!

The movie is beautifully shot and edited. It's one of the most well-put together horror movies of the 1980's. And the special effects are top-notch. This movie is one of the pinnacles of special effects and make up in 80's horror movies.

But what makes this movie is its cast. Chris Sarandon is pitch-perfect as Jerry Dandrige, ranging from comedically over-the-top to terrifyingly serious. He takes what could have been a standard movie monster and makes him one of movie history's great vampires. Roddy McDowall is also perfect as washed-up horror star Peter Vincent (Named after Peter Cushing and Vincent Price) The thing is, I don't think we're supposed to like his character initially, but it's just impossible to dislike Roddy McDowall in any role he plays, especially this one. He brings such pathos and sympathy to the role that you immediately enjoy watching him. William Ragsdale is good as Charlie. He brings charm to the character and does a good job of making you root for him. Stephen Geoffreys steals every scene that isn't nailed down as Evil Ed, although his voice can be a bit annoying at times. The only weak link is Amanda Bearse, and it's not that she gives a bad performance. She's just not given much to do other than worry about Charlie and then get kidnapped. With that little given her, she's easily outplayed by the rest of the cast.

Another thing I love about this movie is it's love for the genre. This is the horror geek's horror movie. I think just about every one of us over 10 years old can remember being like Charlie Brewster: staying up late, catching whatever horror movie was showing in the wee odd hours of the night, scaring the hell out of ourselves with said horror movie and losing sleep because of it. It's a movie that makes me think back on my childhood. 

So, in summation, look this movie up. I guarantee it'll be one you enjoy. It carries The Unkown Movie Fan Seal of Approval. And, as for that... other one, I'll get to that later...

My Rating-  *  *  * 1/2   out of   *  *  *  *

Demons

DEMONS (1985): Starring- Urbano Barberini, Natasha Hovey, Karl Zinny, Fiore Argento, Paola Cozzo, Fabiola Toledo, Nicoletta Elmi, Bobby Rhodes, Stelio Candeli, Nicole Tessier, Guido Baldi, Bettina Ciampolino, Guiseppe Mauro Cruciano, Sally Day, and Geretta Geretta.

Directed by Lamberto Bava

Welcome back to the crypt! Have I got a real treat for you today... Like the subject of my (long ago) last review, THE BEYOND, DEMONS is an import from Italy. Also like the BEYOND, it's weird as hell. 

Imagine if you took everything that was great about 80's horror movies and mixed it with everything that was terrible about 80's horror movies. Well, the end result would probably be a lot like this movie. It's got all the trappings: gore, wooden acting, stereotypical characters, a pulsing punk rock soundtrack, random slow motion, and a totally nonsensical plot. And I love every second of it!

The film begins as young Cheryl (Hovey) is walking through the Berlin subway with the strange sensation that she's being followed. It turns out she's right, as a strange man wearing a silver half-mask that seems to be growing out of his face is actively pursuing her. Fortunately, it turns out the man is merely handing out tickets to a free showing at The Metropol, an upscale movie theater. Cheryl requests a second ticket so that she and her friend Kathy (Cozzo) can attend the showing, despite the fact that they have no clue about what the movie is.

Also attending the movie are George (Barberini) and Ken (Zinny), who soon have their eyes set on Cheryl and Kathy. Others in the audience include an arguing husband and wife, a blind man named Werner (One wonders why a blind man would go to the movies...), and Tony the pimp (Rhodes), who looks like he just stepped out of the late 70's.

The movie they are attending is about a group of archeologists searching for an ancient mask in a decrepit tomb. As it turns out, the mask is razor sharp, and if it scratches you, you become a vicious, demon-possessed murderer. Not-so-coincidentally, one of Tony's "friends," Rosemary (Geretta) has made the same mistake with a prop version of the mask which was displayed in the theater's lobby. Of course, the movie turns out to be prophetic, as Rosemary is soon very possessed and murderous, attacking other theater-goers and spreading the possession to them. The survivors soon find themselves trapped in the theater, and must contend with the vicious, slimy minions of hell that are fast approaching them. Meanwhile, a group of Berlin punks manage to break into the theater and soon become fodder for the demon army.

Well, I've got my work cut out for me in describing this one any further. It's... insane. It's one of those movies that doesn't seem to occupy our reality at all. The plot is totally nonsensical, yet seems to have its own weird, internal logic. The dialog ranges from dull to unintentionally (I think) hilarious, and the acting (read: the dubbing) is just out there. And I love every fucking second of it!

On a technical note, the cinematography is fantastic. The movie's colors just jump off the film and spew right into your face. It's probably no coincidence, as Dario Argento was the executive producer, and the director, Lamberto Bava, is the son of the great Mario Bava (BLACK SUNDAY, LISA AND THE DEVIL, BARON BLOOD, etc.) He clearly inherited a fantastic sense of visual style from his father. Plus, the scenery helps out a great deal. The neon-lit streets of Berlin lend a very kinetic, dangerous feel to the exteriors. And I just have to talk about The Metropol. This place looks like the coolest movie theater ever! I mean, it's just awesome. I wish I had a theater like this near where I live. 

The soundtrack, as previously stated, is an excellent mix of great '80's punk and metal, including tracks by Billy Idol, Mötley Crüe, Rick Springfield, Go West, and Claudio Simonetti of famed Italian prog rock band Goblin (another connection to Argento.) Although, to be perfectly honest, the placing of some of the tracks is a little inappropriate and distracting, but I don't care. Just look at that roster of artists. Just look at it. Need I say more...?

And there's one more thing I love about this movie: Tony the Pimp. This guy is great. He's got the John Travolta SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER suit, a gold medallion, and he talks like a mixture of Fred Williamson and Rudy Ray Moore. The second this guy walked into frame, I was rooting for him. Sadly, He doesn't last very long after the demons appear... But, he does reappear in the sequel, DEMONS 2. Maybe I'll cover that one later on...

So, that wraps this one up. It's hilarious, grusome cheese. If you can turn off your brain for the duration, it's a hell of a fun way to spend 90 minutes. Also, I happen to know from personal experience that it makes for a great party movie. So, if you get enough people together who are willing to watch it, pop it in and have a great time.

My Rating- *  *  *    out of    *  *  *  *